Tragically, today an Earthquake struck our Nation's capital. High level officials are already evaluating whether or not the cause of the quake was Barney Frank's gas attack, Al Sharpton's incoherent ramblings or the jet exhaust from the cheaper jet that Nancy Pelosi must use now that she is no longer House Speaker. No one could reach NOAA, The US Geological Survey, Parks Service, and a cadre of other agencies could not be reached as they were deemed non-essential and sent home once the quake began.
From his underground shelter in Martha's Vineyard, the President was fast to blame the lack of infrastructure and investment in the economy as the root cause of the quake and said that if every coffee cup in the Nation's capital had shock absorbers like he insisted on at the beginning of his term that nothing would have gone wrong and paper all over the government would have remained stain free.
Vice-President Biden slept through the quake and upon waking and told about it shouted, Gorganzola! and then he fell back to sleep.
The White House press office has been abuzz since the incident. The White House is conferring with Harry Reid and House Democrats to see if the country should consider mandatory quake insurance for every man, woman, child, and pet. Further, a Cabinet level position will be created in addition to a Congressional Oversight Committee and a permanent agency to prevent quakes in the future.
