Fixing Society Through Good Parenting

       

       I am not bragging, but we eat two meals together during the week and three on the weekends.  We pray together and almost never miss church unless sick.  Chas read the complete bible this last summer and he is only 10.  The boys help me out with chores and Maya and Julia frequently do things together as well.  We try to do at least a couple of family activities a week like going on hikes, etc. as the weather permits.  The reason I am telling you all this is because I think the LEADING cause of problems in this nation is not politics in D.C., the recession, or the state of our education system. 

       The major problem facing our country is the disconnect in families.  Dr. Laura Schelessinger wrote at length about "Parenting by Proxy."  That is just the tip of the iceberg when you consider the number of parents who are in prison, drug dependent, or just out of the picture altogether.  The Johnson Administration decimated the traditional family when he gave preference to single mothers over intact families regarding entitlements. 

       Lax drug enforcement laws and a poor education system in many inner city schools lead the way to further poverty and a growing underclass.   Chronic unemployment and government programs that encourage dependence destroy initiative and ego.  Targeted advertising and promotion of high powered alcohol and high nicotine cigarettes along with urban carryout stores with a paucity of fresh vegetables and fruits leads to chronic obesity, poor mental health and long term disease such as diabetes and heart problems and COPD.  People feel like they have no self worth. Simple Work confers dignity.   But all these problems at the core go hand in glove with poor parenting and it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. 

       The solution is for parents to spend quality child centered time with their kids and do it every day.  Julia does homework with the kids every day.  She plays with the kids.  I do lots of fun things with them on the weekends and we do chores together around the house.  Chores develop both good work habits and interaction.  Finally, parents need to pray with their children and conduct their own lives as a model for how they want their children to behave.  If you want your children to be just, be fair with them.  If you want them to be honest, don't lie yourself.  If you objectify the opposite sex, do not expect your child to grow up treasuring their spouse.  Live by example.  Pray to G-d every day for guidance and thank G-d every day for the opportunity to be a parent because it is the single most rewarding and important job in the world. 

Miracles are where you see them. Here is one I thought I would share with you.

To my fellow believing friends:

You know, every time I am at my depths of it, G-d seems to come through.  Friday, Maya was sick.  She had to skip school due to a sore throat.  Saturday, she still had a sore throat and was running a fever.  I knew we had to go to the Doctor and that they had Saturday morning hours.  We were flat broke.  I mean FLAT broke.  I did not even know how we were going to come up with the $15 dollar deductible for the office visit.  I get into the car that Julia usually drives back and forth to work, and see she is down to a quarter tank of gas.  I am thinking, "Julia does not get paid until Friday, how the heck is she going to make it back and forth this week and now we have to somehow come up with money for gas and doctor visit and whatever medication the doctor would prescribe?."   I am literally driving to the bank with one hand on the wheel and one hand holding up my head and holding back tears of stress and angst in front of the kids.

I am praying and asking G-d for help all the way to the bank.  I am telling him I am desperate and do not know what to do.  I am beside myself with angst and worry. 

I had a check from a legal job and a couple of checks that my sister signed to the kids for the magazine drive.  She did not want the magazines, but wanted to make a donation to the school and she told me that she wrote the checks to the kids and that I should just deposit them and when they cleared donate the money to the school   The total amount was enough to cover the visit, the meds, and the gas and get a few needed groceries. I had called my sister and asked her if I could use the checks as "float" until next Friday.  She of course said yes.  These checks were two party checks. Now, the other check was from a job I had from a lawyer in the Philippines and the check did not look at all like the typical American Check.  We had less than two bucks in our checking account as reserve to cover the checks until they cleared. 

The bank NEVER would cash these checks under typical circumstances.  The teller asked me what I would like to do with them, and I said, "Well, I would like to cash them, but I know you won't do that, so I guess I will have to deposit them and wait until they clear."   She said, "Well I will cash them, otherwise you would be waiting until at least Tuesday before you had access to the money."  I said, "I thought you never did that."  She said, "Well we consider a lot of factors."   (They have never considered these, "factors" before and I do not know what they are but I hope she does not get in any trouble.)

So. I take Maya to the Doctor.  Of course she has Strep Throat and we need to get antibiotics.  So we go to the pharmacy and we get them.  I had two prescriptions that I absolutely had to fill for myself.  So, I get all three filled.  The pharmacist assistant says, "The antibiotic is free.  You also get a $25 dollar coupon for transferring a prescription here that you had filled a a previous pharmacy.  You can use that discount for groceries."   So all the needed groceries we really had to buy while we were waiting for the prescriptions to get filled cost us all of three dollars.  I was even able to buy a small treat for Julia, and the kids.  I still had enough money to get gas in Julia's car.  I go to the gas station there at Kroger and got a forty cent per gallon discount since I fill prescriptions at Kroger and was able to fill the tank.  

At the end of the day, I still had enough money to pay for my own doctor appointment on Monday.  So I will be able to go to that. 

Now,I know all this can be explained rationally, but I also am firmly convinced miracles are where we see them and find them through faith.  I started off the morning with a sick kid, no money and barely enough gas to get to the bank.  I ended the day with enough gas to get Julia back and forth to work for the week, groceries, and enough money to pay the doctors and meds.  G-d is good, all the time.  I relayed this story to Julia and the kids.  Julia was just as shocked that the bank would cash the checks and was even more shocked that we got the $25 dollar coupon unexpectedly from Kroger.  The kids did not realize how stressed out I was, but they certainly got a lesson in the power of prayer. 

Just thought I would share this with you.  You know, I told G-d if I made it through Law School and got a job before we went bankrupt that I would put a large Sacred Heart of Jesus Statue in our front yard out of witness to our faith and thanksgiving.  (This was not a bribe, I know you cannot ever bribe G-d, but I wanted him to know how grateful I would be when this happened.)    Thanks to the shifting political winds we have lost our entire stock portfolio, and despite my not having been able to find a job yet, and despite being on the verge of bankruptcy due to massive student loan debt, we have never missed a house payment, and the kids have been able to stay at Holy Trinity School and they have never wanted for clothing or food.  We have never been unable to get enough gas to get Julia to work and while our transportation has a combined age of most college graduates, and even with a car getting totaled a year ago, we have always had transportation for our family.  I fully expect and believe that I will be putting up that Statute by this Summer and I am inviting you now to come to the house for its blessing. 

Take care.  As a fellow Christian I hope you enjoyed this anecdote.