The challenge of chaotic living and actually living with ADD

I got up this morning with the intention of doing billing.  I hate doing billing.  I would rather go to the dentist and have work done without a local anesthetic.  I lose forty percent of my pay if I do not turn my billing logs into the court within a month of delivery of service and I frequently lose that money due to my procrastination.  Upon getting my tankard of coffee, I sat down at the computer with the intention of opening up the program and starting.  I ended up customizing my homepage, linking my twitter to it, reading about various add-on apps to Firefox and updating it, reading another blog and commenting, and even reading an old email account to see the two thousand advertisements, there.

So now, I stare at the screen disgusted that I have wasted almost three hours essentially doing little more than playing. 

Sometimes, it is hard to admit how much ADD and chaotic living can overwhelm one's life and make it more difficult.  One's entire life can be distilled into the present moment and the decisions they make at that time. I am going to go say good morning to the rest of the family, see what the plans are for Saturday if we want to make any, and I will have to wait to actually do my billing until tonight when everyone else is either reading, playing themselves on devices, or getting ready to go to bed.

If you wish in your left hand and fill the right with manure, the right hand weighs the most and at least the manure makes good fertilizer. Time today to stop daydreaming and creating castles in my mind's eye and do the monotonous and tedious tasks to actually build them.  I honestly do not know what is motivating me to share this, but hopefully it will cause me to take more responsibility and now attack what is honestly to me the travails of my vocation.  Seizing each moment and focalizing it through the incredibly narrow and rigid projected identity of self-discipline and concentration is the greatest challenge to initiating the first small step to accomplishing the work to achieve the benefits of those daydreams that are so distracting. In a prison, putting or housing an inmate in segregated isolation is the greatest punishment.  Sometimes, I think for me, I could just close my eyes and stay in that situation for time infinitum just contemplating my own thoughts.  Wow, I just wasted another 53 minutes while typing this blog and looking up some references to explain my thoughts like projected identity.  It is time to channel my inner Albert Ellis and take charge.  Carpe Diem!!